Are We Listening?November 5th, 2009
It’s easy to talk. It’s harder to listen and I think even harder to ask good questions.
As a Math Tutor in the public schools I am reminded over and over the importance of listening. A student asks me for help so I kneel next to him, look over the problem they’re struggling with and… immediately want to start talking. Instead, what I try forcing myself to do is ask, “What are you having trouble with?” After they’re done telling me I immediately want to start talking again!
However, I’m finding it’s better to ask, “Explain to me what you’ve tried doing so far.” As they begin explaining I listen and pretty soon can usually spot the problem. Then guess what? I want to start telling them what they’re doing wrong!
My interrupting and explaining isn’t best for their learning. They get a lot of lecture already. I’m convinced they need someone to ask good questions that challenge their thinking and force them to struggle to the point of either 1) self discovery or 2) entering a teachable mood. Spoon feeding only makes them hungry for more spoon feeding.
Here’s the kicker: I find after I’ve listened and probed for awhile they usually do reach a teachable moment (if not self-discovery). At that point I can say something succinct and relevant that hits home with them. Then they lift their heads and say, “Aha! I get it!”
So yes, there is a time and place for teaching. However, I still maintain there are many more times and places for asking questions and listening.
Now think about Jesus: He knew everything and was the greatest teacher of all time. Did that mean he went around spouting off everything he knew all the time? No, he asked questions. These questions engaged His listeners. Then, when his listeners were in a teachable spirit he would tell them something.
According to this interesting list, in the book of Matthew alone it’s recorded Jesus asked over 80 questions!
Amazing. Convicting. Let’s ask more. Let’s listen more.
James 1:19, “Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak…”