Yesterday I started feeling not so good. Then in the afternoon I started felling even worse. At one point I hit the end of myself and laid down on the concrete floor of the bakery, feeling terrible. It was around this time I started puking voluminously.
That wasn’t too fun, and made for a long evening/night of many additional episodes of the same fun-filled event. Guess I had food poisoning of some nature, from what I don’t know. Today I feel better, though the idea of eating still sounds gross. Perhaps my appetite will return tomorrow.
Yesterday night I had a lot of time to lay in my bed and reflect throughout the long hours of these annoying proceedings.
I haven’t written much on my blog lately because I only write when hit with inspiration. And last night I was hit with inspiration.
First, I observed that when one is vomiting, it feels as if one is about to die. You can’t breathe, you can’t stop, it’s like having your head dunked underwater by someone stronger than you. And the scary part is, you can’t control it! the body just takes over and upchucks up whether you want it to or not. It reminded me how I live in a very frail, mortal body, that has a mind of its own. This body was given to me for free. It does it’s job, most of the time, but it is just a machine that’s wearing out, and isn’t really a representation of me. ME is not a body. Me is who I am. My body carries me around, but Me is a spirit.
Second, we experience life in the present, and past experiences have no direct effect on that. Just because I had the most amazing hamburger on planet earth from 5 Guys & Fries directly before coming to Haiti; that didn’t help me at all last night when the very thought of food was enough to make me want to die. Yes, it made me think of how at some point in the future my body will experience the very process of death in the present as well. Kind of an eerie thought. But the important lesson is: live in the present. And savor the present when it is sweet. Because no doubt bitter is coming
For proof that how we feel can change moment by moment, here is a picture of me last night – when I was not feeling so well:
And here is a picture of me only two days prior, happy go lucky!
Third, I was so thirsty it hurt. My mouth was dry. My mind was screaming for water. My eyes were rolling back in their sockets (I think). Unfortunately, any water I drank came right back up. At first I tried drinking as much as I wanted to stop the thirst but that came right back up. Then I limited it to a few sips. That came right back up too. I found that even if I only swallowed a little spit spit, that also came right back up. My stomach wanted nothing inside of it; it wanted alone time to think; it wanted its own company for meditation, perhaps. Alas, I finally resigned myself to the fact that Nick and his stomach were no longer pals, and I could drink no more water, and would have to live a new life of parched lips and sizzled brain. I then did the next best thing, which was to swish water in my mouth but not swallow. Funny thing was, this didn’t satisfy my thirst. I really wanted to swallow it. But I couldn’t. Not without swift and dire repercussions.
This got me thinking about the story in the Bible about a rich man in hell who wanted just a sip of water on his tongue for a little relief from the heat of Hades, but didn’t receive even that. And this led me to thinking how badly I never want to go to hell where there is no water, and where it is confoundedly thirsty, and where it is no doubt almost as miserable as food poisoning. God and I had a little talk last night. I also did some hard thinking on why I was living in Haiti. The con list had suddenly become weightier.
My “Next-to-Last” Concluding Remarks:
Being sick every now and again makes me thankful for my health. This Thanksgiving, I’m perhaps most thankful for health. It’s a great blessing. Even though we all eventually do lose our health and at some point die, it is reassuring to know as Christians we have hope for new health in heaven, and of a fairer variety than we ever had down here.
We each need to make sure we’re on the narrow path that leads to life, and not on the broad road that leads to worse things.
Thus concludes my cheery thoughts for today. Selah.